Your Echoes of Embrace are Everywhere

It's been now three weeks since you've been gone Mom. Everywhere I go and everything I do is filtered by your influence. I miss you so much. I hear your voice stir inside me, I feel your touch through the way I now journey through life. The little things are becoming more important and I'm seeing life through your eyes more so now than ever before.

Your teachable moments continue even with you not here. I think of you hourly mom. I guess the year of firsts start now. I'll miss not celebrating my birthday with you tomorrow. You know I've never been big on birthdays but you always seem to make that day special for me. I remember you gave me a pacemaker last year. WOW...what a gift you gave me because if anything that pacemaker was able to give us more time together and I wouldn't have traded the last year with you for the world. It's amazing to look back mom and see what cross roads we were at last year at this time. The whole dialysis thing was fairly new and little did we know what journey we were headed on. I am thankful for one thing mom, we won't be celebrating my birthday in the hospital like we did last year. Your celebrating in heaven where your pretty much partying all the time now. I'm so jealous.

Your echoes of embrace are everywhere. I miss you more than words can say or describe. If anything that pacemaker can do now is to help me understand and remember that in this pace of life make every moment matter. I'm still trying to do my best with that. I'm still trying to wrap my arms around your absence. Thank you for the simple reminders of your love in my life even though your not here to physically and verbally share them. Thank you for the life you've given me mom. I will do my best to try and celebrate that on my birthday. Your so amazing! You will be with me tomorrow like your are everyday. Thank you God for the gift of such an amazing mom.